Someone told me yesterday that I believe too much in transience of human life and that, good or bad, I don't realize that something important to my life is slipping through my fingers until it's gone. And, when I do realize it's gone, I would act like I don't care and move on. I try to pretend that I stick at nothing because I'm scared and overly protective. I try not to possess anything on my palm that I want to hang onto... for fearing that things you hang onto will eventually be gone anyways. I don't expect much from others to make me happy because I lack trust in others. Worse, I don't expect much from myself because I lack trust in myself. I try too hard to suppress my feelings and hide them from others. I will be a much stronger person if I have a faith and make an effort to keep important things in my hand. Whether this is true or not, I was told all these things by a person who has known me since I was little. Maybe I should listen. I could try a different approach to how I view the world.
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
Separate from that, when I want to sleep happily, I sometimes watch “Castle in the Sky: Laputa,” my favorite Gibli movie of all time. This movie is about, first and foremost, love, hope and dream. It is also about greed, power, money, war and a few other elements in human nature. I keep watching this movie again and again and again because I want to be this boy Pazu and I want to live his life. If you have watched this movie, you know what I’m talking about. There are so many things you can learn from this movie. Watch it if you haven’t.
I have seen this movie so many times that I can write a long-ass commentary but I’m not going to do that since uhm well it doesn’t matter.
Anyways, I want to be Pazu, one of the most adventurous, loving and caring, courageous, gentle but wild, inspiring, capable, optimistic, lucky (a girl falling into his lap doesn’t happen often), responsible, daring, proud heroes I have ever seen. This boy is my hero and he is everything I want to be.