Thursday, April 17, 2008

Junk Snack of Doom X_x

What kind of snack will make you squirt bloody red shit? What kind of snack will give you diarrhea even when you don't have food allergy whatsoever?


THIS KIND DOES!!!


Flamin' Hot Cheetos used to be my lunch when I was in high school. That was pretty much the only thing I ate for lunch for at least a year. I loved the vivid fake chili-red color and the flavor of spice you can't quite figure out what it was from.

The other day when I got to the office, I got really hungry. So I went to the vending machine and threw 85 cents. I was going to buy something else but I heard Flamin' Hot Cheetos calling me. Hmm... it brings back good ol' lunch memory. To answer its voice, I pressed the button and saw it drop at the bottom of the machine with joy scream.

If you haven't eaten Flamin' Hot Cheetos, let me tell you, its artificial red color is notorious. The moment you lay our fingers on it, you can't tell if they are your fingers or a bloody tampon. You'll have to wipe your mouth with a paper napkin like 10 million times after you're done or your lips will stay like a vampire mouth. How hot is it? It's pretty damn hot for junk snack. Some people who don't have spice tongue cannot eat one. What's making it hot? I don't want to know, so I never looked at the back. But it is hot enough to make you suck the air to let the cold air in sometime.

So I ate it around 11am. Time past by and I had a late lunch at pho place around 3:30pm. As soon as I started walking back after eating around 4pm, my stomach started to hurt. As soon as I got back to the office, I rushed to the washroom. HOLY SHIT MY ASS HURTS!!! Ok people, it may sound gross but I looked at what kind of bomb I dropped. Well, it wasn't a solid bomb... I saw a bloody red lake down there.

Let's look at a paragraph above that described what would happen to your fingers and mouth. Now, imagine that is happening to your ass. Well, that exactly was what happened to my ass. Yes, it forced me to wipe my ()*() 10 million times.

Flamin' Hot Cheetos is the Junk Snack of Doom.

5 comments:

jeshka said...

those are glorious.....i love them in all their awesomeness :)

heather_chavez said...

now I crave cheetos

YouKeyOh said...

jeshka,
i thought i wouldn't eat it again but i ate some at camping... damn it it's bad and it's good

heather_chavez,
press B4 at the vending machine in the office ;p

jeshka said...

hey the way i see it ..... we are all going to shit red hellfire and doom at some point in our lives so it might as well be on purpose :)

YouKeyOh said...

well i think i do it more often than necessary... with flamin' hot cheetos... sundubu... indian curry... the list goes on... ah well but they're all so good i can't help it
so ya ok u have a point