Cashback

Lines from Cashback:

It takes approximately 500 pounds to crush a human skull.
But the human emotion is a much more delicate thing.

What is love anyway?
And is it really that fleeting?
I took the bus with no real place to go.
I watched the landscape slowly change as it clung to the last hours of sunlight,
before leaving me to get another sleepless night.

Time manipulation is not a precise science.
Like any art, it's personal to the individual.
So what is the art in making my shift go so fast?

I imagine the opposite.
That time is frozen.
I imagine the remote control for life has been paused.
I'm able to walk freely within this frozen world, and unnoticed.
Nobody would even know that time had stopped.
And when it started back up again,the invisible join would be seamless except for a slight shudder.
Not unlike the feeling of somebody walking over your grave.

That moment when you see someone walking down the street
who is so beautiful you just can't help but stare...
Well, imagine as I do, that with the world on pause
it becomes very easy to understand the concept of beauty.
To have it frozen in front of you.

Captured.

Unaware.

And I'm bored of saying the same thing, and I'm bored of feeling shit about it.
And most of all I'm bored of being awake 24 hours a day.

I wanted to freeze time.
I wanted to savor that moment.
To live in that moment for a week.
But I couldn't stop it.
Only slow it.
And before I knew it, she was gone.
After the door closed, I felt like the last person on earth.

Crush.

It's funny how the same word for the feeling of attraction
can be used for the feeling of disappointment.

I often wonder what it would be like
to spend the rest of my life with the world on pause.

To live out the rest of my life between two fractions of a second.
To die of old age, and then have time continue.
The young me gone, and a dead old man in my place.
Was I spending too much time in this frozen world?
It felt safe, untouchable.
But how safe is anyone's world?
Knowing what you want is half the battle.

Most people go through their whole lives not knowing what they want.
It's easy to find if you know what you're looking for.
You can speed it up, you can slow it down.
You can even freeze a moment.
But you can't be rewind time.
You can't undo what is done.

Once upon a time, I wanted to know what love was.
Love is there if you want it to be.
You just have to see that it's wrapped in beauty
and hidden away between the seconds of your life.
If you don't stop for a minute,
you might miss it.